Friends, I am very very very sorry to disappoint you but I am eventually getting divorced. It was a very hard decision to make and one that I did not make lightly.
I took lengthy professional advice and counselling to come to the convincing conclusion that given all the surrounding circumstances especially my age, it was the best thing to do. The mental and emotional abuse and their impact on my self-confidence and aesthetics were so heavy that only a fool will continue to live so dangerously.
So on 4th November, I reluctantly with deep emotional distress and regrets filed the papers with the requisite fees. I was assured that given my determination to end the relationship as expeditiously as possible and the other party’s defenceless position, the decree nisi will be out within six weeks and this will be followed by the decree absolute six weeks after. The professionals could not believe my resolve. They have been very supportive.
Given that this is a relationship which has lasted many years, one would expect me to be sad but believe it or not I am my happiest in years. My mental and emotional states seem to be at their bests and my self-confidence is admirably sneaking back on me. I just can’t wait for this to be totally over.
But please friends no introductions to eligible bachelors. I will be a fool to try again. In my opinion, it will be like an appointment or date with the enemy or hell. I am really looking forward to the new me in three months and will share my experiences with you.
By the way the divorce is with my tormentor, oppressor and enemy of my own choice “MR FOOD”.
SO THE DIVORCE IS FROM MR FOOD AND FILLING WAS A DATE WITH THE NEW DIET CRAZE VI 90 DAYS CHALLENGE!!!!
Do not be upset with me please. I thought that I should get you wound up and then laugh when I land my punch line.